Forgiving any one for something wrong done by him/her seems the most difficult task to do. The whole idea of forgiveness doesn’t appeal easily as it becomes really difficult for us to forget and let go what has happened. Even for the smallest mistakes we accuse the other person of being greatly responsible for it and crib about what he/she has done to us.
We often think that the principle of forgiveness is either better off in books or be practiced by sages and saints. Those who have planned to leave the materialistic world follow such principles. In today’s big bad world, such principles can hardly find their place.
Think about the guilt that has bothered you whenever you have done something wrong. You can lie to the world but not to your own self. If because of your ego or your pride you say to yourself that whatever I did wasn’t so ruthless, you know you are wrong. When something wrong happens that your conscience cannot ignore it means, the mistake was big. You seek forgiveness that would relieve you from the guilt. Similarly when it comes to the other person who has by his harsh words made you feel bad or has done something wrong, with all your might you hold him responsible. Think once, he might be seeking forgiveness the same way you do when you commit a mistake or hurt a person unknowingly.
Forgiving any one seems to be hard, but if you step in the person’s shoes you will realize it is better to forgive him. You might not realize but forgiveness is the parent of all virtues. Being forgiven or forgiving someone holds the path of real happiness; the happiness from within.
When you get forgiven by someone, you would feel the happiness of getting relief from the guilt, but when you forgive someone it holds the happiness of doing well to someone. The happiness of forgiving is larger than the happiness of being forgiven.
If you do not forgive someone, bitter feeling of seeking revenge, anger and frustration would prevail, ruining your internal happiness. You would be looking for opportunities when you can take your revenge. This is actually a vicious cycle that’s never going to end. You take revenge, the same will happen to you and again you do the same. This is never going to end ruining the relationship with continued feeling of anger, frustration, jealousy and revenge.
The best way to put an end to the whole thing is to let go. Josh Billings once said, “There is no revenge as complete as forgiveness”. Letting go would happen only when you forgive the other person. Forgiving the other person holds the essence of self improvement.
Self improvement is all about strengthening your virtues and getting rid of your vices. Forgiveness, being the parent of all virtues, would bring in you relief, happiness and the contentment of doing something right morally, ethically and spiritually.
This would improve and change the way you think. You would understand that the real happiness lies in the smaller things in life. It changes the way you think, the way you act or behave. This makes you feel good about yourself and the other person whom you forgive would develop more respect for you.
Forgiveness is often underestimated because of the fear that if you’ll forgive the other person he would suppose you to be a coward. Putting these thoughts aside you must forgive and forget and leave this to the other person about how he will take it. Don’t assume things. He might develop great respect and love for you. If not today then someday he will understand the real happiness of forgiveness when the same happens to him.
To sum up, Mother Teresa gave the essence of forgiveness in one beautiful sentence saying “If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive”.
